Well I have been writing this blog for about a year and a half now. Many blogs have preceded this one. Blogging is just a way for me to note down ideas and process information, it's something I do so I can reflect on things. I feel right now like I'm coming out of a tunnel, I can see the light at the end and it is drawing ever so close. The tunnel has been that shady time between November and May, when the northern hemisphere slips into slumber. It was the night of Halloween when I ended my 9 year relationship with Mike. We had a lovely time together, and he is still dear to me, but I had come to realise that we were not the best match. We didn't argue or fight, we were quite content with each other, but I don't think we ever really opened up to each other. We kept each other at a safe distance and enjoyed each other's company without getting too emotionally intimate. I want desperately for him to be happy. Then I met Tom, who was straight away open about his...

Shortly after the summer solstice, I took a walk to the cliff tops, just ten minutes from where I live. I have been thinking about doing this for a long time, debating with myself whether or not it was a good idea. I decided to put a face to the name and say hello to you all. I have just uploaded this video and my palms are sweating with anxiety. I am quite a shy person. I speak in a hushed voice around people I don't know and struggle to meet them in the eye when I'm not feeling confident. It took me a long time to build up the ability to stand in front of a group of people and speak to them. When I was in university and had to give a presentation to the class, I would feel sick and quake in my boots! But when I started to make videos, I felt a lot more at ease. I gradually became less shy about public speaking, and would fearlessly offer my opinion infront of the class in university. I'm still very awkward around people and it takes me a long time to get to know someo...